Barely Legal

So for a week now we've been trying to get Tennessee driver licenses, but we're still not there. Who knew we we such undesirables? (Don't answer that!)

So Tennessee law requires two proofs of residency before you can get a license. Well, one proof is no problem -- we have the copy of the deed showing we own our adorable rustic property, which by the way we're loving more and more each day. But the second piece of proof has been a challenge. It seems most people just use a utility bill, but if you've been following our story, you know we have no utilities (we wish!). We can't even get mail delivered here.

One alternative is to show a pay stub with a home address. Hmm, we're unemployed. Another alternative is to show that you're registered to vote. We tried that, but the computer wouldn't accept that the address on the property deed is listed as 0 Young Road. It seems computers can't compute a zero.

So we tried the option of switching Mason's truck title over to Tennessee. Errrrrrrr. Same problem -- the computers just don't like that zero. But the surprisingly friendly DMV worker suggested that we have our insurer fax them a piece of paper that shows we've paid for car insurance and registered the vehicle at our silly 0 Young Road address.

(At this point lemme mention that Mason is ranting against the Running Scared Republicans, the 9/11 backlash and he is savoring the opportunity to contact his (Republican) congressman to explain that the state of Tennessee is denying him his right to vote.)

So today we finally succeeded in getting the car registration place to accept our address as 0 Young Road and we scored a TN license plate. I knew they wouldn't turn down cold hard cash.  (Get this, there are about five pro-life plates to choose from but not ONE that supports environmental causes. Ugh.) BUT ... the computer wouldn't recognize our UPS Store mailbox address, so Helpful DMV Employee Rebecca wrote it on an envelope that she will hang on to and personally forward the truck title to us when it arrives from Nashville. Now THAT'S service!)

While we're at the government center, we decide to go pay our property taxes ($400 a year, people; seriously, it's worth living in the sticks). Well, it turns out they've been paid through October -- who knows -- but they refuse to take our new mailing address so we can receive future bills. Why? 0 Young Road strikes again.

So one more stop for the day -- the county assessor's office. We thought maybe they could help us out with the whole address/you-don't-exist thing. Sure enough, the good folks there had been trying to find us. Apparently they, too, couldn't register our purchase of the property because of the damn zero. Alas, they say we deserve a real address and Lynn called the county planning department to find out that truly, we're at 4125 Welch Lane. Who knew?

Of course we still can't receive mail at that address, because technically we live on a private road in the "Flat Top Association," a 1970s attempt at a subdivision that failed miserably. And the Post Office just don't do private roads.

After all that, we still haven't been able to apply for TN driver licenses. That will be next week's adventure. But tomorrow, the WATER WELL GUY is coming!! And we're gonna get some big-ass propane tank ... we hope. Not sure if their trucks can get up here. Seriously, you gotta see this place. Eventually.